Baby Bliss

August 19, 2011
By

If you’ve been following Makeup Stash! on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll realise why I’ve been somewhat quiet on the blogging front – I’d given birth not too long ago.

I don’t write a lot about my family online but this birth is very special to me. Three years ago, I had my first miscarriage – it was devastating. I still remember vividly how I felt when the doctor pronounced solemnly that the baby’s heartbeat could not be detected. Two other miscarriages followed, one about six months after the first; the other, just last year. Both were no less heart-achingly painful than the first.

When I discovered that I was pregnant late last year, it was with much trepidation and fear that I made it through the first crucial three months of pregnancy (the Chinese phrase ‘提心吊胆’ aptly describes my feelings then).

Even after the first trimester had passed, my fears were not allayed; every twinge, every little occurrence which I perceived to be an abnormality, alarmed me to some degree. Thankfully, sanity came in the form of good friends, beauty products and writing on this website – they occupied me in their own special ways, taking the edge off my anxiety.

The second trimester went by fairly quickly and there was a palpable, if minuscule, sense of relief after the 5th month scan. Still, I was always conscious of my baby’s daily movements and made sure my husband and my sons could hear her heartbeat every day.

The third trimester finally arrived and I continued attending beauty events and hanging out with my beauty blogging pals, being fairly mobile even as my baby – and I – grew heavier. I remember those days of beauty joy fondly.

Her eventual birth will always be tied to Makeup Stash! and the Shu Uemura Color Atelier collection, for I was writing and editing that very post while labouring in the wee hours of the morning! My elder son timed my contractions (boy, did they hurt) and was my wonderful labour supporter, believe it or not, as I’d let my husband sleep; knowing that he’d have lots to do should I give birth that morning. At that point I was still in semi-denial about having my little one so soon but once the violent waves of shuddering contractions came, I pretty much knew it was time.

So it was off to the hospital and within less than an hour, she was here! (Ah, words make birthing sound easy. The actual event? Not so.) This was my second VBAC and though it hurt, I was and am all the better for it: an all-natural birth meant I was up and about in no time.

My beautiful baby is a joy, though she keeps me up and gives me many things to do (we don’t call her Little Miss Leaky for nothing). She’s now two months old and holds me hostage, being a tenacious nursling. (Let’s just say I’m super thankful for the Notes app on the iPhone – I’m writing these words on this very app!)

I still worry about her, in the light of the losses I’d experienced and sometimes fear my two boys will be taken away from me as well. Wise was Elizabeth Stone who had this to say about having children:

Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

I will enjoy my little one while I can; she is only this young once. With my first child, parenting was BNIB, to borrow a makeup term. Wading through the numerous learning experiences kept me from fully appreciating the impermanence of babyhood. However, as with my second child, I’m already mourning the loss of infanthood even as I relish it. That’s the conundrum of parenthood, I suppose – you love them so much at this time in their life and wish it’d last forever (I want to bottle that fresh baby scent!), yet something’s wrong if they don’t grow. I suppose it is the transience that makes it all the more precious. (Okay, the persistent big 3 – pee, poo, puke – can be transient, by all means!)

These days, nursing can keep me in a haze but prolactin and oxytocin are good friends to have, to alleviate the stress of caring for an infant (the vivid and startlingly realistic dreams are something else too). I have very little computer time, as well, so bear with me – and continue visiting Makeup Stash!, I hope – as I adjust to the changes in my life.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for staying with me; I didn’t think I’d be this verbose. Forgive me – I started writing this post a week after she was born…and only just found the time to complete it! ;)


Posted in: other musings

59 Responses to Baby Bliss

  1. jy
    August 19, 2011 at 8:02 am

    congrats! really happy for you!

    enjoy these wonderful days and dont worry, your loyal readers will definitely be around! (in fact, im following you on twitter for the updates!)

  2. nia
    August 19, 2011 at 9:30 am

    congrats on your new born~

  3. August 19, 2011 at 10:12 am

    A heartwarming read. Congrats once again on having such a cute baby girl! She looks very much like you (: Don’t worry about the lack of posts.. We, readers do understand (: Just wanna say: You’re an awesome beauty blogger AND mummy!

  4. Betsy
    August 19, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Mag!! :) Congrats on your new bundle of joy! you are incredible – awesome mom, wife, buddy, beauty blogger! :) Ur post inspires me to a great extent….lets meet up whenever you can :)

  5. TheUndercoverGypsy
    August 19, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Oh Mag, that really is such wonderful news! Congratulations on the arrival of the little one. Prioritising the things in your life is always a good thing and family simply has to come first. The rest can wait. Enjoy your time with your brand new baby girl :)

    p.s. it’s never too early to bring her into the fold of makeup loving craziness ;)

  6. August 19, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Your baby’s birth brought you so many wishes worldwide from all the friends you’ve made through your makeup addiction and skills throughout the years. I am so thrilled you’ve got your third little one, a girl to follow in her mom’s artistic footsteps.
    As I was feeding my grandson today I was thinking similar thoughts about his growth process. I love the feel of him in my arms when he’s calm and happily taking his bottle and yet I’m anxious to watch him grow and see what he’ll be like.
    These days are precious and we need to enjoy each and every one.
    Hugs to you my old friend and many wishes for joy with all three of your babes.

  7. August 19, 2011 at 11:06 am

    aw… cute little baby! glad you both are doing alright!

  8. ponde
    August 19, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Congrats! most important is baby arrived healthy and mum is safe!

    bliss bliss bliss bliss recuperate & be back soon!

  9. August 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    What perfect timing for me to check in on your blog, Mag!
    Huge congratulations to you and your family – I’m so delighted to read your good news. And how sweet to have a little girl after your two lovely boys :) She is adorable.

  10. Sam
    August 19, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Congratulations, enjoy the new addition to the family.
    I won’t desert you, I know you’re going to be very busy – Makeup Stash has me writing Singapore Shopping Lists all year round! (I have a notebook next to the computer for the very purpose).

  11. Sarita
    August 19, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    She’s beautiful Mag and I really enjoyed reading your lovely post, it made me smile.

  12. Jan
    August 20, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Dear Mag, thanks so much for sharing this post and long awaited picture of your baby. My heartiest congratulations! I share some of your feelings as I have 4 kids myself and have had a few miscarriages too. She’s absolutely precious and adorable and I can see straightaway that she looks just like you! Really appreciate your hard work to keep makeupstash going even as you are busy with the newborn (I wouldn’t be able to do that!). yep absolutely enjoy the baby stage, that’s what I enjoy the best too! well, when she grows bigger there’s be someone to share all those beauty secrets with :)

  13. bong
    August 20, 2011 at 2:45 am

    the power of mother love! looking at ur baby girl mks me wanna have one myself!! heee… hang on there wonder mum!… will nv leave makeup stash!!

  14. Enon
    August 21, 2011 at 1:44 am

    Congrats Mag!!!!
    COntinue writhing and I really enjoy reading yr blog!!
    Btw, she has yr eyes!!!!

  15. August 21, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Congrats on your little (leaky) bundle of joy! Thank you for sharing a piece of your personal life with us, and may you enjoy these early infant period to the fullest! Yes, i know the dreaded 3 Ps, but like you said, if only someone found a way to bottle the natural scent of a baby :P

    Looking forward to more great posts from you!

  16. August 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I am really happy for u. It is rare to see that you blog about your personal life. :) Your baby is very kawaii!!

  17. Elaine
    August 21, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Congrats :) She’s really beautiful :) very happy for you and your family :)

  18. Pearl
    August 21, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    word by word I read… more touchy I get… God send she meant for you! Keep the other 3 whom came and gone in your heart, take them as HE send to the wrong door, like I did with my other 3… I have another 3 lively and shouting in my house now! So much I know about checking clocks for nursing 24/7 and in between minutes chatting up with the older ones, and also remember post partum hormonal inbalances. Just enjoy, for it may be forgotten soon… It’s a joy, its a joy!

    We met in MAC store sometime ago while you were with Kas, and she intro us in 30sec.

  19. Karen
    August 21, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    Hugs! I enjoyed reading this post so much :) and I realized what I hv been complaining to u about (u know what :p ) is really nothing compared to the emotions u hv been through. Can’t wait to meet the little one some day :)

  20. August 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Hey Mag, thanks for sharing your story. I can totally understand how you felt about the fear and anxieties but you never showed it. Your little girl is blessed and so is your family. :)

  21. Kas
    August 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Pearl: LOL! Intro you in 30 seconds! I remember which collection that was for! The Mickey Contractor / the ones with the Chez Chez Lame beauty powder! :D How you doing?

    Maggie: I can’t wait to spend more time with my “new friend” Baby C! *mwah mwah*

  22. eclair
    August 23, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Congrats! the baby is beautiful!
    isnt it nice to have a real life baby doll to “play” with?
    getting stuff for boys can be a tad boring sometimes :X

  23. Min
    August 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Hi Mag,
    Congrats on ur new addition :)
    Thanks for sharing heartwarming story.. I had similar experience with losing heartbeat in the past.
    I knew how u felt, but life goes on.
    As for lack of post, dun worry.. I think most of ur reader will understand that.
    Jia you, take care, and enjoy motherhood..
    She ll grow so fast without u realize :)

  24. August 24, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
    Your story is very touching and it saddens me that I have close relatives who can relate but I hope your family all the best :)

  25. Michelle
    August 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    Hi Mag, it has been a while but my heartfelt Congratulations! HUGS!

  26. nurul
    August 27, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Congrats Mag in welcoming a new member into the family. (= She looks adorable

  27. September 3, 2011 at 3:24 am

    this is so touching honey ….
    congrats and I must tell you ….
    you are so lucky to have little one in your life and I can say she is equally proud of her mom :D :D
    I have watery eyes after reading this ….

    good wishes to mom and loads of love to new born
    stay happy and warm in her arms :D :D

  28. dark.malignity
    September 5, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    oh! congrats!!

    sorry for the late post, but i’ve been busy. thanks for sharing your thoughts, am really glad for you… been following ur blog more than a year now and it almost feels like a friend has given birth, haha.

    and she’s beautiful! congrats again! <3 <3

  29. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Thank you for all your sweet replies; I read each and every one and was very touched by them. I didn’t want to shoot off a cursory reply and only just found the time to properly respond to each one. :)

    Here goes…!

  30. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:40 am

    Dear Jy,

    Thank you for your support; I truly appreciate it. Thank you, too, for your personal message to me. *HUGS*

  31. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:40 am

    Dear Nia,

    Thank you! :)

  32. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:41 am

    Dear Verlyn,

    Thank you for your kind words and for your support. :) Many people have said she looks like me but I can’t really tell just yet, hehe! :D

  33. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:42 am

    Hi Bets,

    You’re always so sweet with your compliments – thank you! I hope to meet you soon – we’ve a lot of catching up to do!

  34. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:44 am

    Hi Tuggie,

    I try to blog when I can – so many things to write about, so little time!

    I wonder if I’m starting her too early, though? ;) Thank you for being a regular reader – I love reading your insightful comments and admire your command of the language. :)

  35. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Dear Marcia,

    Reading your response made me tear – the EMMU days I so fondly remember! The boys know it well too, having seen me chat on the vine. Thank you for staying with me all this while, even as life throws us different distractions. I will never forget that my very first Stila came from you…and the friendship that was born from that swap. :)

  36. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Hi Plue,

    Thanks! I hope you enjoyed your short stay in SG. :)

  37. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:54 am

    Hi Ponde,

    Yes, I’m thankful that she arrived safely and the birth went well. :) Thank you!

  38. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:56 am

    Hi Niamh,

    I hope all is well with you and your little one! It’s so wonderful hearing from you again!

  39. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:57 am

    Hi Sam,

    I love that image of your notebook filled with SG makeup wishlists! Thank you for being a regular reader; I truly appreciate your support and your comments. :)

  40. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 1:59 am

    Dear Sarita,

    Thank you. When she grows up, I will tell her of your incredible package and how it brought me cheer, even as I was worrying over her. I’ve been using one of the Tokidoki palettes and have been thinking of you! I hope all is well with you. :)

  41. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:02 am

    Dear Jan,

    Thank you for being a faithful reader and thank you for sharing. Miscarriages just rip your heart apart, don’t they? It doesn’t matter how many children you already have; each loss is a heartache that never entirely goes away.

    I try to blog whenever I find the time and have been blessed by the fact that I can draft my posts on my phone when I’m nursing. It’ll get harder once she’s more mobile, though. As it is, I can be formatting pictures and next thing I know, she’ll be a-calling, hehe!

    The baby stage passes so quickly that some days I have to remind myself to enjoy her more, amid the baby messes and crying. ;)

  42. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:03 am

    Dear Bong,

    Thank you for your wonderful support and enthusiasm! Your comment made me smile! :D

  43. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:04 am

    Hi Enon,

    Thank you! A few people have said the same thing. My hubs is waiting for her double eyelids to come out (if ever) because he has them, hehe!

  44. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:05 am

    Thank you, Lynn! These days she can be a little stinky but ah, she’s adorable still, hehe!

  45. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:07 am

    Dear Emily,

    Thank you! I don’t do it often because this is a beauty blog after all but I thought my readers would want to know what I’ve been up to! :D

  46. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:07 am

    Dear Elaine,

    Thank you! :)

  47. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:11 am

    Dear Pearl,

    *Hugs* I’m sorry you’d lost a few babies too. I like to think of them in heaven waiting for me when it’s my time to go.

    Having a newborn again is quite an adjustment – the attention needed, the nursing round-the-clock, the crying, the cleaning (oh the cleaning! *groan*) but it’s such bliss too – the smiles, the happy nursing, the sweet scent and newness = joy! :D

    I remember that short intro. Please say hello if you see me again, ok? :)

  48. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:14 am

    Hi Karen,

    Aww, don’t say that! We all have our burdens to bear. I hope you see light at the end of your tunnel very, very soon. *HUGS*

    It was great seeing you the other day; let’s meet again after the PSLEs to catch up once more.

  49. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Hi Sesame,

    Thank you. I did share with closer blogger friends like Iris who was very supportive! :) And thank you once more for your kind help re: my blog; I truly appreciate your kindness and open heart.

  50. makeupmag
    September 9, 2011 at 2:17 am

    Kas,

    Your new friend is seeing the paed later! :D She’s so blessed that I have friends like you who shower her with affection.

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